Author: jschwers

Crop or Treating

This might be the most crunchy, granola-ass idea I’ve ever had, but I feel like it might have legs. The concept is: families in a neighborhood going door-to-door, much like trick or treating, in early September. But instead of passing out candy, each house passes out produce that they grew from their garden. This would…

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Wallets

Polarization has taken over our society in America. The “with us or against us” mentality has trickled down to every lifestyle choice imaginable. Personally, I think the most important way to stay grounded in this marketplace of ideas, where people are so desperate to turn you to their side, is to understand both arguments. There…

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Dogs in Home Depot

I’ve spent a lot of time in Home Depot/Lowe’s over the last year. I would guess I’ve made over 50 trips to these stores in that time frame. I have seen somebody with their dog in the store at least 75% of my trips. I’ve even been witness to 5+ visits with multiple, simultaneous dog-bringers.…

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Nacho Beef

Nachos are great, if executed properly. But at restaurants, they rarely are. Typically, they are appetizer fool’s gold. Except what do you get when you order the nachos? You get a nacho facade, a shallow veneer. The ingredients that you want: the cheese, the meat, the jalapenos; they only exist on the outermost crust of…

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The Dad Dunk

Continuing on with my Dad-themed posts (partly because I’m going to be one soon), I’m going to try to coin a term, the “Dad Dunk.” This could go the way of “fetch” or become the next internet craze. I give it a 0.2%. The Dad Dunk is when you humbly best another grown man in…

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The Taxonomy of the Dad Bod

Level 0 – The Six-PackDescription: Visible abdominal musculature at all times, regardless of position. No visible stored fat. Bending at the waist creates only skin flap folding, no thicker than 1 inch. Not considered a dad bod.Also Known As: Ripped, Shredded, WashboardTypical Cases: Meal-Preppers, skinny teenagers, Christiano Ronaldo Level 1 – The One-PackDescription: Visible abdominal…

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McDonald’s

I’m so tired of people acting like they’re too good for McDonald’s. As a Millennial, my peers and I had front seat tickets to the PR roller coaster than the McDonald’s brand has gone through since the mid 2000s. As children, we bought into the Happy Meal charm, much like previous generations. I loved McD’s…

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