I’m Not Anticipating Most Of The Most Anticipated Movies of 2023

I have not been interested in going to the movies for some time now. The market for films in America continues to separate into increasingly more homogeneous sub-groups. On one side, traditional cinema, where story, acting prowess, themes and dialogue are the key metrics. These movies/shows/films/pictures/series/whatever are essentially only released to streaming platforms anymore. On the other side, the blockbuster titles. The only media deemed worthy of theatrical release; these movies are either reboots, sequels of other successful (or semi-successful) movies, or general DC/Marvel comic book hero shit. Let’s look at the article “The Most Anticipated Movie Releases: Coming 2023” by the blog site Social Junkie.

Babylon – Original

M3GAN – Original

Kraven The Hunter – Comic Book

The Last Voyage of the Demeter – Original

Knock At The Cabin – Original

Magic Mike’s Last Dance – Sequel

It’s All Coming Back To Me – Original

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania – Comic Book

Cocaine Bear – Original (I’m intrigued)

Dungeons & Dragons Honor Among Thieves – Original

Creed 3 – Reboot+Sequel

The Haunted Mansion – Reboot

Aquaman 2 – Sequel

John Wick Chapter 4 – Sequel

Scream 6 – Sequel (Too many)

The Super Mario Bros. – Original

Heart Of A Lion – Original

Renfield – Original

Last Train To New York – Reboot (of a foreign film)

Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 – Sequel

Fast X – Sequel (STOP)

The Little Mermaid – Reboot (These live action Disney remakes are so bad)

Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse Part One – Comic Book

Transformers Rise Of The Beasts – Reboot (How are we still doing Transformers?)

The Flash – Comic Book

Indiana Jones 5 – Sequel (Harrison is old)

Madame Web – Comic Book

Mission Impossible – Dead Reckoning: Part 1 – Sequel (Tom Cruise is also old)

Barbie – Original

Oppenheimer – Original (Actually stoked for)

The Marvels – Comic Book

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Reboot

The Meg 2 – The Trench – Sequel (Didn’t realize anybody watched ‘The Meg’)

Blue Beetle – Comic Book

The Equaliser 3 – Sequel (Didn’t know there was a 1 and 2)

A Quiet World – Sequel

The Exorcist – Reboot (This has to be like the 8th reboot of this movie)

Paw Patrol The Mighty Movie – Original

Dune 2 – Sequel

Saw X – Sequel (STOP)

Imaginary Friends – Original

Trolls 3 – Sequel (Why?)

The Hunger Games The Ballad of Songbirds And Snakes – Reboot (This title is such a GoT ripoff)

Wonka – Reboot

The Tigers Apprentice – Original

Peter Pan & Wendy – Reboot

Disenchanted – Original

Legally Blonde 3 – Sequel

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget – Sequel (Dumbfounded they made a sequel to this)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – Reboot

Pinocchio – Reboot

Gremlins 3 – Sequel

Totals:

Movies listed: 52

Originals: 16

Sequels: 17

Reboots: 12

Comic Books: 7

So 69% of new 2023 movies are unoriginal ideas? Nice.