Author: jschwers

Talking in the Theater

Talking in the theater is a huge faux pa for some, especially western Europeans. I have learned this reading opinions online, as well as witnessing the unspoken rules of public manners when I studied there. Now, I understand the public transit talking moratorium. I think it might be a little too harsh, but I’ve seen…

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Big box store layouts

Can anybody in the know explain to me why every Home Depot or Lowe’s has a completely unique layout? Who decides which aisles go where? You would think for a store that’s so vast that it would be more efficient for everybody involved to keep a consistent setup. I’m going to assume that they actually…

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Wedding DJs

Wedding deejays who don’t play classic wedding songs are more in denial about their jobs than uber drivers who tell you that driving is only their “side gig.” Play shout, play Cupid shuffle, take requests, don’t play your shit. A good wedding DJ is like a good offensive tackle. We never hear your number called…

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Advice to Waitstaff

If you’re serving somebody at a nice restaurant and are asked for a menu recommendation, heed this advice. If you recommend the most expensive thing on the menu, it better be really delicious. It also better be significantly more delicious than other, more affordable options. Because as soon as you recommend the filet or some…

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Walking

Here are the only exceptions that allow you to consider walking as exercise: You’re obese or disabled You’re over 70 It’s over 10 miles