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It’s winter weather season and I’m here to rant about winter driving. Over the years, I have heard a take about driving on icy roads that continues to boggle my mind.

I was driving to lunch in a coworker’s truck yesterday and noticed he was in 2-wheel drive. Having just driven my commute in 4WD due to the overnight snow storm, I asked my coworker if he ever uses 4WD in his full-ton pickup. He responded “Naaaa,” with a tone that sounded condescending towards the safety precaution. I asked him, “Even when it’s icy? Aren’t you worried about fish-tailing and sliding into the ditch?” He goes, “If I’m worried, I just do this.” He then proceeded to turn off his traction control system.

So being the argumentative person that I am, I immediately questioned this logic. Now, my coworker is a motor head. He drove truck for many years. He is VERY into RTVs and snowmobiles. I know this guy can drive. But I had to know; what the hell benefit are you gaining from turning off your traction control?

Now I’ve heard this claim about TCS before. Over the years, many people who I trusted told me that TCS somehow made loss of traction situations worse. This has been bothering me, because from an engineering point of view, I fail to see how this universally adopted technology that has been around since I was born does the opposite of what it’s supposed to do.

My coworker’s argument was interesting. Not convincing, but interesting. He proposed a situation to me: he’s driving along when a car pulls in front of him in icy conditions. He claims that if he swerved rapidly to avoid the car, his TCS would slow down his rear axle slippage, make it so he couldn’t “kick his back end around” the obstacle. So basically, the TCS would inhibit his ability drift his truck around an obstacle.

Does this sound as stupid to you, reader, as it does to me? You can’t base your winter driving decisions on a fantastic, James Bond-esque scenario where you perfectly anticipate the traction of the road and swiftly divert power to Tokyo drift your way to safety. Doesn’t it seem more likely that your just hit some ice and slide off the highway? Doesn’t this happen far more frequently? And in this scenario, do you want to rely on your driving ability to negotiate going sideways at 55 mph using a 2WD vehicle that won’t assist you regain traction?

Or, you could let the computer in your car that can pinpoint a loss of traction in each tire in under 5 milliseconds, and software that have been in development for 10+ generations of highly regulated vehicles, to divert power to slow and steer your car to safety. I’m as suspicious of the government as the next fella, but TCS has been required in all vehicles since 2012. Are you anti-TCS folks trying to tell me there is some conspiracy going on in the automotive industry to continue putting a counter-productive technology in every single vehicle?

It seems like everybody who has something bad to say about TCS is into motor sports, and the more I think about it, the more I think their opinion on it is based on overestimating their abilities. I do understand there are situations where TCS would be detrimental, but that’s equivalent to the “don’t wear your seltbelt in case you get trapped in the car” argument.

If anybody out there wants to comment and change my mind, please do so.

My wife’s dog (my step-dog) is not a good dog. He guards things and will bite people who try to take what he’s guarding. He likes to guard phone chargers, shoes and bags, so this happens a lot. He’s a very small dog, so he hasn’t been put down because he’s incapable of causing serious harm, but his bites do break skin and hurt. He is also very loud, disobedient and will attack almost any dog he sees. This is not due to a lack of training. He knows many tricks and has been to multiple professional trainers. He is simply an asshole, by nature of breeding. He will always be a selfish, evil creature, who will only be a good boy if it benefits him immediately. My relationship with this dog is one of tolerance and mutual understanding, not love or affection.

My wife is more patient with this reproachful animal than I, to be expected. She raised the dog and has more of a connection with him. But even she is a logical person who is not blind to the inconvenience and risk this dog poses to our lives. This dog nipped the hand of my 1 year old baby yesterday. It was a warning bite, not intended to hurt (I’ve become accustomed to all of his bite variants). But the child posed no risk to the dog. I was teaching the baby to gently pet the dog with an open hand, which he was successfully doing. This encroachment of personal space was enough to get a warning snarl and snap in the twisted mind of this fo

People like my wife and I need stop hiding in the shadows and be heard. Whenever we mention our awful dog, others always come out of the woodwork with tales of a terrible dog they have or had. These traumatized people speak cautiously at first; scanning around for some “dog-lover” to blame them for being a bad owner. When they realize they are in a safe space, where they can share their years of abuse without judgement, the true therapy begins. Their eyes widen, glisten with true understanding of the situation a bad dog owner finds themself in. The dog is a money pit, a mess-maker, a constant hindrance to your schedule, all while any complaints will not be socially accepted. Everybody loves dogs and they are all wonderful, innocent creatures according to all the people who enjoy Subaru commercials and wear puffer jackets.

If I know one thing to be a fact, it’s dogs can be malevolent. These same people that anthropomorphize the feelings and personalities of these animals are the same ones that will tell you “there are no bad dogs, just bad trainers.” I wonder if they feel that way about people?

People have came around on pit bulls. There is a large coalition of people who don’t think the breed is suitable for domestic cohabitation in modern society, and I’m one of them. But let’s extend this understanding of risks associated with raising an animal to other breeds, who are also inbred for outdated purposes. I have no guilt-free way of getting rid of this dog. My wife thinks it would be wrong to re-home him to some unsuspecting new owner who will undoubtedly find themselves in the same situation we are in. This dog is like the videotape in The Ring. The only way you survive it is to pass the burden to somebody else.

I don’t have any sociological demographics data to back up this theory, but there seems to be a strong correlation between age and frequency of shoveling snow.

When snow season begins, there are homes that get shoveled perpetually, homes that get shoveled intermittently, and some homes that don’t get shoveled at all. I find the houses that get shoveled the most frequently and the quickest after a flurry are always older people.

My propensity to shovel my driveway and sidewalk is highly dependent on the weather forecast. There’s actually a very specific weather situation that I require to even bother doing it. The snow has to be done falling for the foreseeable future, and it needs to stay cold. If it’s going to melt on its own, or if more snow is going to fall, why the hell are these people waking up at 7am, freezing their old asses off, to shovel snow?

I know I’m technically legally obligated to shovel my sidewalk, which is bullshit since I don’t technically own it, and I could get sued in the event of a skull-cracking fall due to ice that I haven’t cleared away. But nobody is enforcing this. There’s no snow officers coming around giving tickets for this. Call me lazy, or call me efficient.

Theories I’ve heard for old-timers obsession with snow clearing:

The snow will get too heavy if they wait – some validity to this

They will break their hips if they fall – you could also break your hip shoveling

They have the time because they’re retired – seems more like a flex than good house maintenance to wake up and shovel at the crack of dawn.

Leave a comment if your grandparents are obsessed with shoveling snow and generally keeping up on housework to dunk on their neighbors.

I had a summer job in college as a waiter at a barbecue restaurant owned by a guy from Arkansas. The entire wait staff was instructed to learn the first name of all their customers and use these first names in all interactions while serving. This was strictly enforced.

I remembered this job recently because I came upon another chain restaurant that was employing this tactic. The nice young shift lead asked me my name, in an otherwise empty quick-service restaurant, which I found strange, but I assumed it was just part of their sandwich building process. I was wrong, it was a customer service tactic. I was referred to by multiple staff members by my first name four different times while paying, and waiting for, my sandwiches. I know this was a strategy that emigrated from the South because the shift lead also said “y’all” 3 times in one sentence.

I did not find this level of intimacy to enhance my experience. I found it off-putting, and awkward. This is exactly how I perceived my customers to feel back at the barbecue restaurant; they would recoil in suspicious confusion when I asked their first name along with their order.

Open letter to southern people: I don’t think this first name basis thing works in the Pacific Northwest. I put up with all the “my pleasures” at Chick-Fil-A because the food is amazing and the service is efficient and consistent. The warm fuzzies just seem a bit inauthentic.

The feeling I get when a service worker I’ve never met before calls me by my first name reminds me of when a vaguely familiar looking person at my wife’s friends wedding calls me by my first name. “Oh shit, am I supposed to know you? Why do you know me?”

If you disagree, leave a comment. I think these chains should abide by our cultural norms and get rid of the buddy-buddy bullshit.

I’ve been very stressed this year. Work feels very chaotic, my infant son is draining my free time and I’ve given up 80% of my personal time. I still keep a few hobbies to myself but my exercise, healthy eating and healthy sleeping habits are gone. I’m also not good at hiding my emotions, so people notice.

I’m not ashamed people notice, I feel like the stress is unavoidable and I just need to learn to deal with it as best as I can. But one thing that annoys me is the constant advice. “Take some time” they say.

Because gender roles have weakened and the economy has worsened, women are now expected to work, and my wife does, full-time. So she’s in the same boat as I am. Stressed as fuck, aging like a moldy raisin. We both look like shit, I’m not going to lie.

Why the fuck would going on a weekend getaway help us? Spend money to procrastinate our home chores? So come Monday, I’m not caught up on sleep, the house is a mess, and I’ve got all my same work problems?

I guess the argument is to “recharge your batteries” or something. That seems a bit presumptuous. Are all my stressors just in my head? Will a mental reframing will give me a new attitude and all the stress will dissipate? Hakuna Matata? Maybe. But I doubt it.

You’ve probably seen this brand by now, it’s in all the grocery stores, who are all owned by Kroger at this point.

This Stromboli stood out to me because of the calorie count: 800. That seemed like a pretty substantial meal, especially for a glorified Hotpocket. I find that frozen meals are very subject to shrink-flation and it’s very easy to hide a wimpy portion size behind layers and layers of packaging. Just blow up the photo on the side of the box, show tons of filling oozing out the side and people assume certain things about the size and ingredient proportions. Then give them a rolled up piece of frozen bread with one pepperoni and a little teaspoon of sauce and BAM, more profit margin.

This Stromboli was baked in an oven-proof crisping tray for 32 minutes. The tray was handy; it was nice not to have to make a cookie sheet dirty for one Stromboli. During my long wait period, I lectured myself about being patient with this Stromboli and avoiding the dreaded mouth burn, of which I am highly susceptible. When the oven dinged, I was deliberate, and I cut the Stromboli open to cool more effectively.

My first issue was the Stromboli had clearly blown out the sides. Precious filling was spilling out of both sides, slowly bubbling into an unrecoverable char. I don’t know if this can be chalked up to operator error, because the dough did not seem over-cooked.

This Stromboli ended up being exactly what you would expect: tasty, but not enough filling. It was a hot bread sandwich. Obviously the filling escaping did not help this issue, but I tried my best to scrap the loose ingredients back into the Stromboli, and all you could taste was dough.

What do these frozen food companies have against sauce? Frozen burritos are always complete liquid on the inside and yet Hotpockets are nothing but bread, dry as a bone.

Even though I waited 5 solid minutes, even though I cut the Stromboli in half, I still burned my mouth.

What filling the Stromboli did have was good. Fine. Good late night snack.

2.5/5.0

As my readers know, I enjoy the convenience of frozen meals. I also thoroughly enjoy the breakfast burrito, easily one of the greatest food items ever invented. But these two worlds have never successfully collided. Why is every store-bought frozen breakfast burrito I’ve ever eaten terrible? I’ve tried to buy the fancy brands, and while some succeed moderately in the taste department, they all fail miserably in the texture department. Every frozen breakfast burrito is tiny; like the size of Nokia 3310. Then, they have this thick, tough tortilla. It’s like you’re trying to bite through a quilt. Then the inside is always this liquid sludge that is hotter than the sun, with no discernible differences in ingredient textures.

Is this a manufacturing problem? Is it food safety? Why can’t anybody just make a decent breakfast burrito and then freeze it? Why does every one taste like they injection-moulded egg and mystery meat slurry into a leather shoe?

I wish all audio books were narrated by the author, with an exception for professional narration contingent on the narrator being the only voice actor for all works by a given author. I hate hearing a familiar voice on a new book from an author I’ve never read, because it feels like the same author.

I oscillate between unwavering self-confidence and aching insecurity daily

Moving on to another Costco entry, Bibigo Pork and Vegetable Steamed Dumplings. As a long time lover of the classic Ling Ling potstickers commonly found at Costco, I was excited to try these little morsels. I hoped they would provide the same deliciousness of the gyoza, without the disgusting tasting burps that accompany them, giving them the moniker of “Potstinkers.”

The box from Costco contained 6 individual shrink-wrapped trays, each containing 6 dumplings. The calorie count for one tray was 240, so my light lunch consisted of 2 trays.

The process for preparing these dumplings was very simple, as long as you don’t impatiently rip open the plastic steam package. Although the wording on these specially designed plastic bags says “start here” at the perforated corner, you actually want to start by microwaving the damn things. I put a bag-wrapped tray in the microwave for two minutes, removed and tore the thing open. Asian-style frozen food, much like Asian-style toilets, really think through the details. There were individual dumpling depressions molded into the tray, with little sauce reservoirs for the soy-based sauce. The reservoirs were marked: “Sauce Here” and featured little openings for the sauce to trickled down into each individual dumpling depression. Really have to tip my cap to the food packaging engineer here, a true labor of love.

Upon first bite, I was greeted with the familiar taste of Ling Ling potstickers. The pork and vegetable filling was almost identical, but I’m not complaining. The sauce was not quite as nice as Ling Ling’s but still solid. The texture of the dumplings, however, was far superior to potstickers. The steaming process created an incredibly tender and consistent dumplings. I devoured the 6th dumpling before I tasted the first one. I also appreciated the size of the dumplings, each a perfect mouthful.

The ease of preparing these things was incredible. Taste was good, but I think i might need to add something spicy to the mix next time. As long as these stay as a snack or side dish, I certainly recommend these dumplings. I also did not experience nasty burps following my meal, so feel free to eat these at work.

3.75/5