You’ve probably seen this brand by now, it’s in all the grocery stores, who are all owned by Kroger at this point.
This Stromboli stood out to me because of the calorie count: 800. That seemed like a pretty substantial meal, especially for a glorified Hotpocket. I find that frozen meals are very subject to shrink-flation and it’s very easy to hide a wimpy portion size behind layers and layers of packaging. Just blow up the photo on the side of the box, show tons of filling oozing out the side and people assume certain things about the size and ingredient proportions. Then give them a rolled up piece of frozen bread with one pepperoni and a little teaspoon of sauce and BAM, more profit margin.
This Stromboli was baked in an oven-proof crisping tray for 32 minutes. The tray was handy; it was nice not to have to make a cookie sheet dirty for one Stromboli. During my long wait period, I lectured myself about being patient with this Stromboli and avoiding the dreaded mouth burn, of which I am highly susceptible. When the oven dinged, I was deliberate, and I cut the Stromboli open to cool more effectively.
My first issue was the Stromboli had clearly blown out the sides. Precious filling was spilling out of both sides, slowly bubbling into an unrecoverable char. I don’t know if this can be chalked up to operator error, because the dough did not seem over-cooked.
This Stromboli ended up being exactly what you would expect: tasty, but not enough filling. It was a hot bread sandwich. Obviously the filling escaping did not help this issue, but I tried my best to scrap the loose ingredients back into the Stromboli, and all you could taste was dough.
What do these frozen food companies have against sauce? Frozen burritos are always complete liquid on the inside and yet Hotpockets are nothing but bread, dry as a bone.
Even though I waited 5 solid minutes, even though I cut the Stromboli in half, I still burned my mouth.
What filling the Stromboli did have was good. Fine. Good late night snack.
2.5/5.0