Obviously this list is biased. My perspective is unique to a 29 year-old male living in Boise, ID. My criteria is mostly centered around weather, sporting events and holidays. Another implicit, more subtle factor is the school year. I think we all have our yearly circadian rhythm synchronized with the American school year, even as adults. It’s embedded into us from Kindergarten.
I will also admit that I don’t share the hatred of cold weather that most people seem to have. I think 100+ degree days are worse than 45 degree days. If you think all the cold months should be at the bottom of the list then you’re a lizard and you shouldn’t read my rankings.
This is my official Buzzfeed job application. Let’s get it started.
12. August
Boy, does this month suck. The only memories of enjoying this month are preconceived notions left over from grade school. August used to be the Sunday of the summer, often filled with relaxation and preparation. It was a little depressing but also a little exciting. Now, as an adult living in a heavily forested state, August is awful. It’s nothing but oppressive heat and poisonous smoke. That new tan is gone and all that remains is a sweaty taint.
Weather: So hot, so smoky. Water activities are still on the table and August is a good month for relaxed work schedules, which makes family gatherings common. There is opportunity for outdoor fun in August, it’s just a shame is has to be in such an otherwise terrible month.
Sports: The call it the dog days for a reason. Nobody cares about baseball at this point. Football is starting preseason, which is also worthless except for the diehards. No basketball. Soccer is starting up, which is nice, but not enough for us red-blooded Americans to get hyped. Sometimes you get the summer Olympics, which can alleviate the television situation slightly, but it gets old fast. I think there’s normally some season-ending golf events in August but Covid fucked up the schedule the past 2 years and they were in October.
11. April
April really doesn’t have much going for it. During school I would also get very restless in April. You begin to feel the summer coming, but it’s still out of reach. April is famously rainy, which isn’t inspiring after 4 months of cold. April is even known in the northern states to give a surprise snowstorm occasionally, which is never welcomed. Also taxes.
Weather: Weather is shit. You might get a couple of days that occur only to get your hopes up. You’re so fed up with wet and cold at this point in the year that outdoor activities are just irritating. It seems like April can be really windy, too.
Sports: Crickets (not the sport, the noise). College Basketball just finished, football long gone. Baseball starts up, but the beginning of the season in baseball is meaningless; page me after the All-Star break. NBA and European Soccer are getting close to postseason, but not quite there. The one saving grace: The Masters. This is the only reason April isn’t in last.
Holidays: Earth Day? Easter, most years? Easter is by far the lamest of the Jesus-themed holidays. No offense to Catholics, but nobody observes Lent anymore. All Easter gets you is a nice meal and maybe some chocolate. The only hype holiday in April is 4/20, but that stops being as fun when you’re an adult and can’t go to work baked AF.
10. February
February gets the benefit for being the shortest month, so it’s awful weather and relatively lackluster lineup of events is minimized to only 28 days. February can be good for skiing and has arguably the best sporting event of the year, but the weather is not good. Cold gets old fast for most people, and this is the home stretch of winter.
Weather: Terrible. Snow in February just doesn’t have that pop like Pre-Christmas snow has. Even January snow seems more exciting for snowboarding or skiing. By February you’ve already spent a month’s salary on over-priced lift tickets and you just want the snow to go away.
Sports: Super Bowl. That’s it. With the new longer NFL season, February might be able to claim a little more can’t-miss action, but historically it’s the Supey, then 3 weeks of nada. NBA, CBB and Soccer are on, but nothing really impactful.
Holidays: Valentine’s Day might be the worst “major” holiday. I like going on dates but it feels much more like a chore than a holiday. There aren’t many other holidays I can “fuck up.” Not trying to complain, but when put under scrutiny this holiday is crap. President’s Day, however, is kind of slept on. I feel like there’s always an awesome ski trip on President’s Day, since it’s always Monday. Great deals on cars and appliances too.
9. November
All you Thanksgiving Stans can kick rocks. Thanksgiving is great, kicks off the holiday season, football, turkey, etc. But the problem with November is the goddamn Christmas preparation. Decorations, music, and worst of all, gifts. The lead up to Christmas is great once the plan is under control, but in November, uncertainty creeps in. That realization that you have to plan travel and gifts is like getting back from vacation to a mountain of work on your desk.
Weather: The crisp, beautiful Autumnal color palette has turned grey and you realize all your wool socks have holes in them. No skiing yet, but still a few nice days to wake up to.
Sports: Football is in full swing, Basketball barely starting. Baseball over. It feels like a good sports month because of Thanksgiving Day football, but it really isn’t.
Holidays: I think people forget the 3 other weeks of November because it’s so defined by Thanksgiving. It’s too dependent on it. Thanksgiving is a top-3 holiday, though. Two days off + football + food.
8. March
As hard as November is carried by Thanksgiving, March is carried even harder by the greatest sports week of the year, March Madness Rounds 1 and 2. Not to mention, this week coincides with Spring Break. The weather is total ass, but for some reason, still better than April. I think right after the winter, 55 degrees in March feels amazing. But by April it’s been 55 and overcast every day for a month and you just want actual sun.
Weather: Terrible, but brings hope
Sports: Nothing but March Madness is really on, which makes it even better. No sporting event keeps America’s focus for as long as the Big Dance. Receptionists, babies, homeless people all having nothing better to do than fill out brackets and talk about their picks. And the tournament’s pacing is *chef’s kiss* perfection. Those two weeks with games Thursday through Sunday are the greatest distraction ever. It’s like back-to-back 4 day weekends.
Holidays: St. Patrick’s Day is really only for college students. It’s 4/20 for drinking.
7. October
October is November’s younger and hotter sister with better weather and the World Series. October has short-comings, however, namely the dull, holiday-free stretch of days until the very last day of the month. October also has that impending dread of winter approaching.
Weather: Early October is as good as it gets: crisp mornings, comfortable days, cool nights, limited rain. The problem is about halfway through the month you realize you can’t feel your hands when playing twilight golf. Then you go to a night-game tailgate a week later and realize your hoodie wasn’t even close to enough clothes. Then you try to remember where you put your gloves because you haven’t seen them since February.
Sports: Full football slate. World Series. Solid one-two punch.
Holidays: Halloween is a tricky one. As a child, it’s amazing. As a teenager, it’s kind of lame unless you’re a vandalizing delinquent. As a college student, it’s the best day of the year. As a 20-something, it’s entirely dependent on if one of your friends throws a good house party. Covid has really wrecked house parties, so Halloween has been pretty lame recently. At 29, it’s in the St. Patrick’s Day tier as a holiday but I imagine when you have kids, it moves up to the Valentine’s/Easter tier.
6. January
Now we’re starting to get into the good months. January is pretty underrated, often considered a let-down spot from Christmas. But a fresh year and full-blown winter storms are an excellent reprieve from monotony.
Weather: Obviously cold, but let’s focus on the positives here. Usually the snow is the best in January. The mountains have been hit multiple times but there hasn’t been any weird warm weeks yet to create ice. You’ve also acclimated to winter by now, but aren’t quite to the point where you hate it. You’ve got you winter wardrobe down to a science and don’t get nervous when the roads are slick. If you don’t like January it’s because you shoveled snow off your driveway for 40 years and have gotten soft and lazy, which is understandable. But young adults should relish the chance to brave the elements. 4 seasons is bad-ass, plus there’s no bugs! All this being said, it’s still cold and slushy.
Sports: NFL Playoffs are awesome, especially Wildcard weekend. Bowl games are awesome. You really don’t need much else.
Holidays: New Year’s Eve, post-college, is the #1 nighttime party of the year. Everybody’s out, feeling romantic, getting drunk. This is followed by New Year’s Day, which is probably the #1 holiday/sporting event combo of the year. This 2 day stretch, which is usually preceded by a week that’s basically vacation, is so awesome that it lands January in the 6th spot. Also MLK day is like 2 weeks after New Year’s, the Bloody Mary of holidays, making sure your holiday hangover isn’t too bad.
5. May
May is the ultimate foreplay month. The year is starting to get aroused for summer. May was usually the last month of school and this yearly tradition of excitement seems to carry over to adulthood. Also a great month for breaking up with your girlfriend, since there’s going to be so many babes to meet this summer.
Weather: An amazing crescendo. Early May is often hit-or-miss, but by the end of May you’ve got fully blooming flowers and t-shirt weather.
Holidays: Memorial Day Weekend is so great, not because of unique traditions, but because of where it falls on the calendar. April and May can often be very busy months at work or school and ending this stretch with Memorial Day is perfect. People always have so much vacation energy for this holiday, pulling out all the stops with maximum effort to experience the outdoors. By August you just want to sit in the A/C and drink beers, but in May, you want to hike 20 miles. Also Cinco de Mayo is kind of cool: casual but you can still get drunk on tequila. Sign me up!
Sports: May doesn’t have much apart from the PGA Championship. Usually by May you’re not as dependent on sports, since you can actually have fun outside, but there’s some still stuff to get excited for.
4. July
July is just a very solid month without many cons to speak of. Go ahead, try to shit on July. Unless you live in Phoenix, you just can’t.
Weather: All of your outdoor ideas are greenlit in July. It’s hot, but you still like it that way. You can golf until 10pm and wear a t-shirt all night outside. Usually the forest fires aren’t that bad yet, so you can still breathe.
Holidays: The 4th of July is my personal favorite party day of the year. NYE is great, but nothing beats day-drinking. July and coolers with ice-cold domestic beers, name a more iconic duo.
Sports: Golf, mostly. Everything else is on break because the athletes are also drinking Budweiser on the lake. Every 4 years, however, when the FIFA World Cup is on, July might be the best month of the year.
3. December
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas carries a lot of weight. I think this one would be a lot of people’s favorite, but those people also watch Hallmark movies.
Weather: Snow in December hits different. Mostly the weather is awful, honestly, and the ski resorts have no good snow to speak of. But when it snows in December 1st-24th it is HYPE.
Sports: Just NFL football, NBA starting up. You do get the beginning of CFB bowl season, so you can watch the weirdo bowls. NBA on Christmas Day is ok.
Holidays: The ultimate holiday. So powerful they named it “The Holidays.” I must admit, even a cynical person like myself loves Christmas and giving gifts. Seeing family and drinking at 9am. It’s a beautiful time full of board games and weird cocktails.
2. September
I don’t know how controversial this pick is, but to me it’s obvious. September has perfect weather, a great holiday and the beginning of NFL and college football. It’s also the beginning of the school year, which although was sad as a 5th grader, was always exciting in college.
Weather: #1 weather month, hands down. Not even close. June is nice, but it’s often too hot. May is ok, but it rains. September is warm in the day, cool at night and rarely rains. This is assuming, of course, the smoke has cleared. Based on the last few years, September’s weather stock might be headed down.
Sports: I know there’s no big block buster event in September, but the beginning of football season is better than the end. Much like the first round of March Madness is actually the best weekend, the beginning, when all is laid out in front of you with endless possibilities, is the most fun. Plus we can’t forget about the Fantasy Football season beginning as well with draft season.
Holidays: Labor Day is like a more laid-back Memorial Day, which actually improves it. Once the September hits, everybody has set aside their crazy ideas of what their summer would be and just wants to chill. Instead of kayaking, everybody wants to go boating, which I can get behind.
1. June
June is like the honeymoon phase of summer. You still want to make out with the summer on the kitchen counter and then spank summer when it’s leaving the room. There’s always great music festivals in June, too. June is so awesome that it doesn’t even have a holiday and it’s still number 1. I guess you can count Father’s Day?
Weather: Warm to hot, right when you want it that way.
Sports: US Open, Champions League Final, NBA Finals. Those are some great sporting events right there. Probably 3 of my top 4 favorite non-football sporting events. And don’t worry Canadians, I didn’t forget: the Stanley Cup! My cup runneth over with great sports to watch. June kicks ass.