{"id":98,"date":"2022-05-03T02:25:22","date_gmt":"2022-05-03T02:25:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/perseverations.com\/?p=98"},"modified":"2022-05-03T02:25:25","modified_gmt":"2022-05-03T02:25:25","slug":"the-taxonomy-of-the-dad-bod","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perseverations.com\/?p=98","title":{"rendered":"The Taxonomy of the Dad Bod"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Level 0 – The Six-Pack
Description: Visible abdominal musculature at all times, regardless of position. No visible stored fat. Bending at the waist creates only skin flap folding, no thicker than 1 inch. Not considered a dad bod.
Also Known As: Ripped, Shredded, Washboard
Typical Cases: Meal-Preppers, skinny teenagers, Christiano Ronaldo<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Level 1 – The One-Pack
Description: Visible abdominal muscles in flexed torso positions. Minimal stored fat, all below belly button. Small roll created when bent at the waist but no stomach protrusion otherwise.
Also Known As: In shape, Kinda jacked, Fit
Typical Cases: Athletes, College guys, Gym Rats with mediocre diets<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Level 2 – Skinny Fat
Description: Visible central protrusion in all torso positions, focused mainly around belly button and lower abs. Minimal oblique\/lateral fat. Upper abdominal muscle slightly visible in most torso positions. Small rolls or doughnut created when in a bent-forward position.
Also Known As: Pooch, Beer Belly, Flabby
Typical Cases: Stoners, Cardio-lovers letting themselves go, Vegans
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Level 3 – The Chub
Description: Visible fat when in a non-bent position along with some visible abdominal muscle. Small protrusion below belly button and above hips. Small to medium roll created when slightly bent forward or sideways. Small amount of back fat with minimal protrusion.
Also Known As: Tummy, Healthy, Country Strong, Stocky
Typical Cases: Alcoholic Gym Rats, The youngest guy on the beer softball team, Single guys in their 40s, Drunk Eaters<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Level 4 – Muffin Top
Description: Protruding fat present completely around lower torso in all torso positions. Very faint upper abdominal muscle. Medium-sized rolls created with lateral bending. Gut hangs below belt with forward bending. Slight man-boobs.
Also Known As: Belly, Chunk, Doughy, Husky
Typical Cases: Alcoholics, Stress Eaters, Sweatiest guy at the gym<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Level 5 – Spare Tire
Description: A larger more sagging muffin top, plus some visible back fat. No visible abdominal muscle. Belly button is wider than it is tall. Large roll present at all times 360 degrees around torso. Man-boobs noticeable, could benefit from bra.
Also Known As: Gut, Chonk, Hefty
Typical Cases: Neckbeards, Depressed white collar workers, Guys who eat desert without sharing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Level 6 – Obese
Description: No longer considered a dad bod. Man titties in armpits.
Also Known As: Huge, Oh Lawd He Comin
Typical Cases: Actual Medical Issues, Completely given up
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Level 0 – The Six-PackDescription: Visible abdominal musculature at all times, regardless of position. No visible stored fat. Bending at the waist creates only skin flap folding, no thicker than 1 inch. Not considered a dad bod.Also Known As: Ripped, Shredded, WashboardTypical Cases: Meal-Preppers, skinny teenagers, Christiano Ronaldo Level 1 – The One-PackDescription: Visible abdominal… <\/p>\n

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